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ah2981's Avatar
Posted by: ah2981
2014-01-09 11:43:55
Eh.
Overall:
80
 
 
 
 
 
I thought it was really good but the ending was not all that great. I felt there either should've been more or that it should have been bigger. Smile
~Ash
Sistine's Avatar
Posted by: Sistine
2008-06-17 12:18:32
Such a lack of structure...
Overall:
88
 
 
 
 
 
...can only support you for so long. Your poetry, it is excellent, but it's remniscient of a siren in a sea sorm; beautiful yet threatened by a chaos unadressed. And the chaos is your technique--it is messy in it's stylings, quite good but still suffering from the lack of stanzas and the helter-skelter rhyming. And seriously, grammar is a magnificient thing. If you cannot make your voice understood, you may as well be babbling to yourself.
Lindione's Avatar
Posted by: Lindione
2008-03-15 16:23:16
It flows right off the tongue
Overall:
80
 
 
 
 
 
This is best one from you I've seen. You may want to give it a second run through, though, it should be "love AND decency". Also should add "the" before "ancient fray". It really flows off the tongue though and the rhymeing scheme you used worked for me.
Fourth Perspective :: Perspectives - Direct my lies - Reviews