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Beffaney's Avatar
Posted by: Beffaney
2007-05-27 21:59:02
heyy
Overall:
84
 
 
 
 
 
i like this one [

it rhymed good, it made since, its short & simple. and i like the last line.

kudoss.
Michael Danton's Avatar
Posted by: Michael Danton
2007-03-22 05:58:43
Sillicon and Synapse
Overall:
86
 
 
 
 
 
Good feeling of movement, there was a spot where the syllables did break down a bit but not badly. It all made sense on some mental plane to me and I appreciate the sentiment. There was one part where "love turns to coal", that I didn't get; but as I have said before, I was never much for abstracts, this is however probably the best I've seen.

Smooth and Smart.
KrazyKracker's Avatar
Posted by: KrazyKracker
2007-03-12 08:01:13
Good Rythm
Overall:
80
 
 
 
 
 
It was short and to the point, i like that. the rythm was good except the last 2 lines in the second paragraph thing. i like the life becomes a noun line. very well put. i will be looking forward to more submissions from you!
Fourth Perspective :: Perspectives - Untitled - Reviews