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Michael Danton's Avatar
Posted by: Michael Danton
2008-03-29 06:50:25
Lost in the woods
Overall:
80
 
 
 
 
 
This was a great poem in all respects, it had a good flow, use of language and description, apart from one line

"Don't what I ever did wrong,"

I think you've done an amazing job with it. Just one problem though. What was it about? I've been through it a couple of times and I still can't get through the bark, that is if it was a tree at all and not another metaphor... they were metaphors right... Like I said in my heading, I'm completely lost in the woods on this one.

If perhaps you were to make things a bit less vague while still leaving the language open to interpretation, I think you could have something very special here... Then again, perhaps I'm missing the point of poetry in the first place.

Excellent.
M.
siegeflare's Avatar
Posted by: siegeflare
2008-03-10 20:14:57
truth
Overall:
90
 
 
 
 
 
Your poem means a lot. From how distant the speaker is and just the slow painful flow of words. It is clear that this poem spared no felt emotion. Keep writting, that way it isn't all junk out there.
Fourth Perspective :: Perspectives - My Blackened Tree - Reviews