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ah2981's Avatar
Posted by: ah2981
2014-01-09 11:45:45
Nice Job
Overall:
90
 
 
 
 
 
I really liked it though at some points I had to read it again because the flow seemed to sometimes be broken slightly. Nice job though, I enjoyed it. Smile
~Ash
Sistine's Avatar
Posted by: Sistine
2008-01-26 21:35:44
Intriguing
Overall:
89
 
 
 
 
 
I'd rarely epect such a simple work, nonsensical as it is, to please me to the extent that yours did. I quite like it, minus a small punctuational error in the third stanza.
Lindione's Avatar
Posted by: Lindione
2008-01-12 10:21:28
Clever
Overall:
90
 
 
 
 
 
I find it very creative and clever. I like your diverse word useage and the rhythm could not excell more. There is nothing wrong i could see with it.
anna7sweeto's Avatar
Posted by: anna7sweeto
2007-05-26 23:21:48
Well done
Overall:
70
 
 
 
 
 
i liked the language you used, very clever.
Pianoabuser's Avatar
Posted by: Pianoabuser
2007-05-22 14:20:49
It worked, but it didn't strike me as brilliant.
Overall:
66
 
 
 
 
 
It was a good poem.

It had all the right parts a poem should. A steady rhyme scheme, an original subject matter, and even a venture into some form of fantasy.

But it still bored me somewhat.

It belongs in some sort of poetry anthology, but it doesn't stand out. Sorry.
seth's Avatar
Posted by: seth
2007-05-20 01:23:36
Aphrodisiac?
Overall:
95
 
 
 
 
 
This is, without question, well written. It is, though, a puzzle.

One of the reviewer's wondered if it was a childrens poem. I don't think so. In my opinion, it had sexual overtones. Perhaps this says more about me than it does the piece.

In any case, it was a kind of aphrodisiac for the sense receptors.

I'm sick, though Smile

Seth
Tri-Nitro-Toluene's Avatar
Posted by: Tri-Nitro-Toluene
2007-05-16 09:17:43
Delightful
Overall:
90
 
 
 
 
 
A delightful little piece that flowed well, was entertaining, and fun to read.

I don't know whether this poem was written for children, but it speaks to me as being the sort of poem that would go very well within a collection of children's verse.

The only fault I have is that the ending seems a bit abrupt, and it is isn't quite a satisfactory conclusion. He just leaves, and I was expecting something else to happen.

That could be due to the fact that I was enjoying the poem though and was hoping for it to continue.
Michael Danton's Avatar
Posted by: Michael Danton
2007-05-12 13:39:10
This?
Overall:
96
 
 
 
 
 
What is...... this? This is what the whole poem revolves around, could it possibly be the poem itself? If so it's incredibly clever but; unfortunately very obscure to the point of confusion, a shame since the rest of the poem was absolutely brilliant!

The rhythm was flawless and the description was excellent especially considering none of the components of this poem can be properly described in one word, and when you have chosen to do that, your choice of words has been incredibly sophisticated and shows you have a learned command of the English language.

It's a pity the final quatrain didn't quite sew up the story properly in my perception; but the more I think about it, the more I like it. I just changed your score from 94 to 96.

Fantastic, in all senses.
M.
Fourth Perspective :: Perspectives - Moo - Reviews