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Top Rated Teleplays

Shaun 'n' Jordan Series One
Perspectives: 2
Votes: 18
UrbanAncient's Avatar
Posted by: UrbanAncient
2008-03-04 12:12:47
Style: Comedy/Children/Family
Number of pages: 5
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Shaun 'n' Jordan Series One
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Perspective Reward Points: 192
Carousel Reward Points: 0
Log Line:
Shaun 'n' Jordan,
Ones a moron,
One's just unlucky!
Production Notes:
Yeah, I'm gnna be filming this in summer and the premier, not featured on the mini scripts at Crimbo.
Latest Perspective on Shaun 'n' Jordan Series One
Pianoabuser's Avatar
Posted by: Pianoabuser
2008-08-23 10:15:45
Were you abused when you were younger?
Concept: 0
Characters: 0
Dialogue: 0
Presentation: 0
Plot: 0
I can't give this any points.

Which is terrifying, really.

You're not funny. As in, really, veer away from it. You're not clever, you're not witty, and to compare this to something as reputable as Joey is terrifying. Pitching this to any TV company would be a waste of time.

With regards to your poetry, I think you have potential. It's bad at the moment, but you're young, and I probably couldn't have written much better when I was your age. But as for this... I was writing scripts at your age, and they were miles better than this. I could have written this when I was six.

I won't even go into your complete disregard for standard script conventions. It's just all so...shit.

Sorry. I sound harsh, but I have to. There can be no constructive criticism on this, just abandon it. And really don't film it.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - Teleplays - Shaun 'n' Jordan Series One