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My Blackened Tree
Rating:
84.00
Perspectives: 2
Votes: 20
Sistine's Avatar
Posted by: Sistine
2008-03-09 11:02:47
Style: Romance/Drama
Number of pages: 2
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My Blackened Tree
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 71
Carousel Reward Points: 0
Log Line:
She's absent and I'm wanting;
She made a promise, forever daunting.
Production Notes:
Writeen in angusih by a seething heart.
Past Revisions:
2008-03-08 11:27:17
2008-03-08 11:20:09
Latest Perspective on My Blackened Tree
Michael Danton's Avatar
Posted by: Michael Danton
2008-03-29 06:50:25
Lost in the woods
Overall:
80
 
 
 
 
 
This was a great poem in all respects, it had a good flow, use of language and description, apart from one line

"Don't what I ever did wrong,"

I think you've done an amazing job with it. Just one problem though. What was it about? I've been through it a couple of times and I still can't get through the bark, that is if it was a tree at all and not another metaphor... they were metaphors right... Like I said in my heading, I'm completely lost in the woods on this one.

If perhaps you were to make things a bit less vague while still leaving the language open to interpretation, I think you could have something very special here... Then again, perhaps I'm missing the point of poetry in the first place.

Excellent.
M.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - Poetry - My Blackened Tree