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The Platforms EP 1
Rating:
77.00
Perspectives: 1
Votes: 3
MattMan657's Avatar
Posted by: MattMan657
2007-06-18 10:25:38
Style: Action/Drama
Number of pages: 8
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The Platforms EP 1
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 449
Carousel Reward Points: 30
Log Line:
The first chapter of the Platforms screenwrite
Production Notes:
The Platforms was my first actual literary work. My goal was for it to become a flash animation, and to reach that goal I was in dire need of an animator. So I stretched out to the NG community with very little luck. I did show one animator it who was quite interested yet due to time consumption would not be able to complete it.

All seven chapters are completed yet they are being revised as we speak. But this is the first chapter that is completely done.

So please enjoy, The Platforms!
Latest Perspective on The Platforms EP 1
Deathcon's Avatar
Posted by: Deathcon
2007-07-11 23:39:14
Interesting!
Overall:
77
Concept: 15
Characters: 12
Dialogue: 15
Presentation: 17
Plot: 18
I really like the direction and plot in this script but the only problem I found was in some of the logic. I don't see how this technology could be used to reinforce armor if anything that touches it is destroyed. Also, is it right to conclude that if touching the field from any side will cause these same reactions? Perhaps a way around or alternative to this hightly destructive drawback should be addressed. Other than that issue there is the emotional behavior of the hero. He seems very disattached and it's hard to get in his shoes.

Try to work on character development and personality a bit more. And fix the grammer issues and you should be golden.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - Screenplays - The Platforms EP 1