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The Platforms EP 2
Rating:
55.00
Perspectives: 1
Votes: 4
MattMan657's Avatar
Posted by: MattMan657
2007-07-11 15:50:00
Style: Action/Drama
Number of pages: 5
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The Platforms EP 2
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 273
Carousel Reward Points: 30
Log Line:
Witness the birth of a new age created by one man...
Production Notes:
After a few weeks of being MIA I am proud to be back submitting my work for my peers. West From Hell Chp. 3 is getting there, and I am revising The Platforms in between the cracks.

Episode two marks the start of the corruption of The Platforms. The world is tossed and turned, mankind is cast into oblivion. All due to one man and his beliefs. But most importantly we learn of the events that followed the deaths of Dr. Byron's family, and even more importantly we learn of what the Platforms do to him.

So please, enjoy!
Latest Perspective on The Platforms EP 2
Deathcon's Avatar
Posted by: Deathcon
2007-07-12 00:08:33
Needs more strength.
Overall:
55
Concept: 10
Characters: 10
Dialogue: 5
Presentation: 15
Plot: 15
It's got potential if you really work on it. As it stands since part one the screenplay has been very 'trippy' so to speak, jumping from one clip to the next with seemingly no continuation other than the explanation of the narrator. Try extending each scene out and providing more information. Try working on character behaviors, as well as originality. For now, this whole story, including part 1, is a bit cliche in the sense that it's following the typical Renegade path. Try mixing things up a bit and adding more character.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - Screenplays - The Platforms EP 2