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The Laundromat
Rating:
78.00
Perspectives: 1
Votes: 9
Mike Kleine's Avatar
Posted by: Mike Kleine
2008-01-19 00:02:45
Style: True Story/Sci-Fi
Number of pages: 9
Read      Review
The Laundromat
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 474
Carousel Reward Points: 30
Log Line:
Dad is a money-hungry practitioner of the occult who gets drunk off spaghetti sauce. Mom is afraid of left hands and is about to have a baby. I hate my jaw and my left hand. I have arthritis and rarely go to confession. Sometimes I like to walk around looking for my car. I don't remember the color of my car.
Persimmon I think...
Production Notes:
The number twelve is mentioned more than six times.

The main character is apt to falling asleep.

Only a third revision. (Still rough.)
Past Revisions:
2008-01-18 23:51:02
2008-01-18 18:15:08
2008-01-18 01:09:00
Latest Perspective on The Laundromat
LazyPint's Avatar
Posted by: LazyPint
2008-02-20 12:29:29
The logic is messy indeed.
Overall:
78
Concept: 15
Characters: 15
Dialogue: 15
Presentation: 18
Plot: 15
This is a difficult one. The randomness feels strangely unrandom and in the end I'm not sure whether to laugh or back away slowly.

I'd say this one qualifies as abstract and I did actually enjoy reading it. The quirkiness is very good, the character seems very odd and the events are interesting.

I wonder how much of it is a true story? I'm somewhat reminded of the character from "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" who had Asperger's. The character here seems to take this to a whole new level.

By this point, I've kind of lost what I was trying to say. Basically, I enjoyed the randomness while being slightly "weirded out" and I'd love to see some of your other work for comparison. Whether everyone could read the whole of this story is debatable, but I'm glad I did.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - ShortStories - The Laundromat