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Bridge Over Troubled Water
Rating:
83.33
Perspectives: 3
Votes: 21
Endsville's Avatar
Posted by: Endsville
2008-04-27 10:23:39
Style: Horror/Fantasy
Number of pages: 2
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Bridge Over Troubled Water
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 69
Carousel Reward Points: 0
Log Line:
Four friends skip a day of school to be at a river which to them is the most beautiful and fun place in the world. However, as one falls off the stone bridge to the shallow stream below the boys are thrown into blind panic as their day takes a sinister turn.
Production Notes:
So again this is another very short story. This one however was written for a test in english (which got me a 1) and there was a certain word limit to it.
I was thinking of extending it for here but I like the quick pace, emphasising how fast everything in the story happens.
I had also originally written this is english before but just as a practice test at home and in that version the story here was told in flashbacks as the surviving character visited the stream years later.
I showed this to my teacher and he gave the suggestion to tell the story in present tense and thus got me a 1. This version here as the teacher nicely put it is a "pulse raiser" and concentrates on the conflicting feelings of each character. Rock on.
Well, that's it. Do hopefully enjoy.

P.S. I will one day get round to editing this to see how it looks lenghtened anyway.
Latest Perspective on Bridge Over Troubled Water
ah2981's Avatar
Posted by: ah2981
2013-01-17 10:21:57
Great job!
Overall:
80
Concept: 18
Characters: 10
Dialogue: 20
Presentation: 15
Plot: 17
I loved your story. IT was amazing and wonderful and i dont have enough kind things to say about it. The presentation was jumbled but as you said it was just a differant type of writing. I put 20 for dialogue becasue i think that if you would have added dialogue it would have ruined it. Extremly well writting and very dark. My kind of story. Keep it up.
~Rene Wiebold / Ayla smith
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