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God's New Children
Rating:
81.31
Perspectives: 2
Votes: 13
Pianoabuser's Avatar
Posted by: Pianoabuser
2008-08-20 11:37:39
Style: Abstract/Sci-Fi
Number of pages: 4
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God's New Children
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 177
Carousel Reward Points: 110
Log Line:
The third chapter of God's great plan goes a little bit wrong.
Production Notes:
This took approximately three days to write, and one day to edit. It will appear in an anthology I and Joseph O\\\'Brien have written, out around November 2008. Look out for it - we\\\'re good.
Latest Perspective on God's New Children
Michael Danton's Avatar
Posted by: Michael Danton
2008-09-14 23:51:29
Lost for longest time.
Overall:
82
Concept: 18
Characters: 14
Dialogue: 18
Presentation: 20
Plot: 12
For the longest time I was carefully reading each paragraph for clues as to the origins of our protagonist and although the mystery was initially compelling, it soon gave way to confusion and the lingering doubt that some subtle fact had been overlooked.

This was a very well written piece, however there were areas with overabundant punctuation that was bit distracting. In addition, I felt the balance between action and description was well off at times -- often wading through long segments of philosophical prose to try to illicit a mental image of this character and his current whereabouts which were at times a bigger mystery.

This is a fine story, but I think you need to set the scene before you begin to dissect it.
M.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - ShortStories - God's New Children