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Envy.
Rating:
81.53
Perspectives: 4
Votes: 30
L-C's Avatar
Posted by: L-C
2007-03-10 15:21:59
Style: Drama/Adventure
Number of pages: 2
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Envy.
 
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Perspective Reward Points: 40
Carousel Reward Points: 0
Log Line:
A mind search of why is there a gun in someone's face.
Production Notes:
At first, I wasn't going to submit it due to it lacking a lot of things. I felt it was, like my other story, below average. I showed it to another user to this website to see what he thought and he told me he liked it besides the slight over use of rhetorical questions.

So I decided to see what others thought of this.

Also sorry about the picture size. It was the best picture I could find and it was the best I could do cropping as much as I could without cropping the faint figure and the gun.
Latest Perspective on Envy.
Sistine's Avatar
Posted by: Sistine
2008-01-27 07:30:46
Good ideas, sub-par execution.
Overall:
82
Concept: 18
Characters: 16
Dialogue: 16
Presentation: 15
Plot: 17
It felt a little stilted at times, and was slightly choked by some technical problens and run-on sentences. Still, fresh ideas always help, and this was just dark enough to please that curriculum.
Fourth Perspective :: Viewing - ShortStories - Envy.