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My computer is so bad that ...
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Lindione
Jack
Rank: 10


Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 221

Post My computer is so bad that ... Reply with quote
Ok, I'm in fact shopping for a new computer which inspired me to come up with this contest.
All you have to do is fill in this sentence in a creative way.

My computer is so bad that _______.


Here is one i heard from someone else a while ago.

My computer is so bad that playing World of Warcraft is like watching a slideshow of my own death.


Here is mine.

My computer is so bad that other computers ask it for its ancient Chinese wisdom. (It was made in China I'm guessing.)
Sun May 18, 2008 3:28 pm View user's profile Send private message
Sistine
Queen
Metalhead
Rank: 11


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 554
Location: Solemn Hearts, Ohio

Post Reply with quote
My computer's so bad, I play Runescape.

_________________
Now that I've lived to hear my own eulogy,
I'm afraid I must die to fulfill destiny.
How did I live? The same way I died;
One knife in my hand and one more in my eye.
Sun May 18, 2008 4:50 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
Great competition!

My computer is so laggy, I was playing Battlefield 1942 and I shot my first German in 1973.
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Mon May 19, 2008 6:25 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
UrbanAncient
King
Rank: 12


Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 542
Location: England (And proud of it)

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so slow I smashed the tower and the monitor went off 3 days later.
Mon May 19, 2008 9:21 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Dr. E. Worm
Queen
Maccabee
Rank: 11


Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 337
Location: St. Louis

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so bad that it breaks down and starts sobbing if I so much as wave the Crysis box in front of the monitor.

_________________
"No, I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." -Ozymandias, "Watchmen"
Mon May 19, 2008 7:15 pm View user's profile Send private message
Sistine
Queen
Metalhead
Rank: 11


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 554
Location: Solemn Hearts, Ohio

Post Reply with quote
Actually, I think that's most computers, Worm Laughing

My computer's so outdated that I put in a Halo 1 disc and it told me to convert .swf files first.

Okay, yeah, that one didn't make sense to me, either.

_________________
Now that I've lived to hear my own eulogy,
I'm afraid I must die to fulfill destiny.
How did I live? The same way I died;
One knife in my hand and one more in my eye.
Tue May 20, 2008 11:43 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
maddkid53
King
Rank: 12


Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 574
Location: Vermont, U.S.A.

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so bad that....

Wait a minute...My computer is actually good.


My computer is so good that when I got it, i didn't sell my old one. This one absorbed it and growled "Sacrifice the infidel".

_________________

Tue May 20, 2008 11:58 am View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Dr. E. Worm
Queen
Maccabee
Rank: 11


Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 337
Location: St. Louis

Post Reply with quote
Sistine wrote:
Actually, I think that's most computers, Worm Laughing


Yeah, seriously. It seems to me that when a company makes a game that no computer can run without having an existential crisis (uh, "crysis"), the entire thing is just an exercise in compensating for a small...disc drive...

_________________
"No, I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." -Ozymandias, "Watchmen"
Tue May 20, 2008 1:53 pm View user's profile Send private message
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so embarrassing, The emoticons are starting to talk about me.
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Wed May 21, 2008 8:25 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
KrazyKracker
King
Ninja
Rank: 12


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 2870
Location: Oxford

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so virus-filled tha

_________________
I Am Just A Fool, Masked and Anonymous
/b/
Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:06 pm View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Sistine
Queen
Metalhead
Rank: 11


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 554
Location: Solemn Hearts, Ohio

Post Reply with quote
I c what u did thar, Krazy.

_________________
Now that I've lived to hear my own eulogy,
I'm afraid I must die to fulfill destiny.
How did I live? The same way I died;
One knife in my hand and one more in my eye.
Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:19 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
KrazyKracker
King
Ninja
Rank: 12


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 2870
Location: Oxford

Post Reply with quote
No you don't Shocked

_________________
I Am Just A Fool, Masked and Anonymous
/b/
Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:19 pm View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
My computer's speakers are so rubbish...

Ashlee Simpson sounds like a yak breech-birthing a porcupine in a subway tunnel.

Oh wait...
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:10 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
LEVELInGUP
Ten
Rank: 9


Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 539
Location: Bermuda

Post Reply with quote
my computer is so slow that rocks evoled into intelligent beings when it finally turned on.

_________________


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who wants herpes?!!!!???
Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:57 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
ToxicKlay
Six
Rank: 5


Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 167

Post Reply with quote
My computer is so bad that when I tried to put it on my desk, the desk went "GET THAT THING THE HELL AWAY FROM ME"

I'm baaaaaaaack, FP.

_________________
The rich would have to eat money if food wasn't provided by the poor.
-Russian proverb

They Have Arrived is slated to become an animation to be released Mid 2008.
Status on They Have Arrived animation:
BEING ANIMATED!!!!
Sat Nov 15, 2008 3:12 pm View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Dr. E. Worm
Queen
Maccabee
Rank: 11


Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 337
Location: St. Louis

Post Reply with quote
Michael Danton wrote:
My computer's speakers are so rubbish...

Ashlee Simpson sounds like a yak breech-birthing a porcupine in a subway tunnel.

Oh wait...
M.


Well, you can't fault her for that, it's not like it's actually her voice.

Seriously, though, that whole thing kind of puzzles me. Why use her as an intended more marketable front for the real singer if she's A: not at all good-looking, and B: inherently unlikable. Is the last name really that important?

_________________
"No, I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." -Ozymandias, "Watchmen"
Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:18 pm View user's profile Send private message
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
You think she's pulling a Milli Vanilli? I just thought she was a no-talent and required a computer to filter her mouth noises into something vaguely resembling normal human vocal range... Similarly to the way they make dogs bark jingle-bells.

M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:17 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Dr. E. Worm
Queen
Maccabee
Rank: 11


Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 337
Location: St. Louis

Post Reply with quote
Michael Danton wrote:
You think she's pulling a Milli Vanilli? I just thought she was a no-talent and required a computer to filter her mouth noises into something vaguely resembling normal human vocal range... Similarly to the way they make dogs bark jingle-bells.

M.


I don't think. I know. She was actually caught lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live due to some sort of technical screw-up. It's one of my favorite all-time SNL moments. This is the closest thing I could find to a YouTube video of it (it's FOX News, so you'll enjoy it Razz): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCeUwu9gOzk&feature=related

_________________
"No, I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." -Ozymandias, "Watchmen"
Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:50 pm View user's profile Send private message
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
I remember seeing that one before, it doesn't mean that she didn't sing the song, it just means that she didn't sing it live for whatever reason. Most likely she's a no-talent riding on the blonde hair extensions of her older sibling and she needs the machine to hammer her notes into tune before they're fit for human exposure.

The whole breakdown thing happened to ABBA once, doesn't mean they can't sing- just means they didn't have a mixer and a number of other things on the parade float they were riding at the time... Still, Ashley really has no excuse, especially after the fact when she dropped her band in the grinder and they were only trying to help her save face... That's real professional.

What's this FOX thing all about anyway? Just because I like a news service that isn't constantly slinging mud at the presidency and all things 'right' doesn't make me a bad guy. I just like to hear the news that the other networks won't present. News is pretty good recently though, the dems are trying to throw a crooked governor under a bus before the US Attorneys start to probe... 30+ years says he spills the beans, could even effect the presidency.

Lions, tigers and bears.
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:33 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
LazyPint
Queen
Rank: 11


Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 361
Location: Scotland

Post Reply with quote
My family's computer is so bad that I'm going to buy them a new one today for Christmas.

Damn the expense, I'll be the favourite son again! Not difficult when I don't have any brothers, but every little helps.
Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:16 am View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
Now there's a guy I can relate with, I'm very family oriented too. I don't know enough about it to make any grand statements, but the majority of the people I know just treat their families as people that can be taken advantage of or 'borrow' from whenever they need it (or not) without recompense or consequence -- The whole process is very distasteful to me.
Personally my parents keep me fed, clothed, housed and take me on holidays with them (because I'm such great company) Razz It's the very least I can do to maintain exactly the same spirit when I have my own financial interests.

That's my plan and I'm sticking with it.
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:00 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
LazyPint
Queen
Rank: 11


Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 361
Location: Scotland

Post Reply with quote
I really feel that I owe my parents a lot, from sending me to India with my school, to paying for my uni accommodation and recently for most of my motorbike.

Heavens knows why they haven't bought a much needed new PC before a lot of that, but they're going to be pleasantly surprised come Christmas, assuming I can coordinate a friend bringing it over and me setting it up before they get back from midnight mass.

Which assumes they'll be OK with me not going to midnight mass. Again.

Assuming they don't get suspicious about my lack of presents for them.

Or see all these posts I'm making detailing their surprise present.
Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:52 pm View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Michael Danton
Ace
Overlord
Rank: 13


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 3559
Location: Australia.

Post Reply with quote
Hell, I owe my parents everything and the best part is we all get along really well together. I trust them implicitly and they trust me, could you ask for anything more? I just wish I could contribute to the family more productively than what I am now. I think of myself as their investment and I'm not going to let them down or myself.

--

My PC is so bad that... It must have rusted away while I was in America. It gets as far as the windows screen (and that's all over the place) and it doesn't get any further than that, it just.... stops.

Luckily I have my lap-top, but I wonder how long it's going to last by the sea... No more than a couple of years following a trend.
M.

_________________
"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez
Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:25 am View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
simonalia
Two
Rank: 1


Joined: 16 Jan 2018
Posts: 1

Post Reply with quote
No more than a couple of years following a trend. Steroids For Sale
Tue Jan 16, 2018 4:01 am View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
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